Coaching is becoming more and more of a topical issue.
I often get asked what the difference is between coaching and psychotherapy.
My answer is quite simple.
For someone who has taken responsibility for their life, coaching is the way. But for someone who still sees themselves as a victim, psychotherapy could be more helpful.
People in the victim mode have a sense of personal powerlessness. This manifests in:
> blaming others for their failures
> staying stuck and blaming the government, family members, the boss, their partners etc.
> failing to see the role that they play in creating their own negativity.
> refusing to acknowledge that they are the cause of the experiences that they do not want
> blaming their circumstances on everything else besides their own ineffectiveness.
Most people deal with this misery by getting drunk, taking drugs or just simply eating too much.
If you identify with this, join the human race! Most people operate from this head-space.
The ‘RESPONSIBILITY EPIPHANY’ occurs when a person begins to see that they have the power to create the life they want.
The realization is startling, exciting and scary. It might look like having to admit to the shame of past mistakes.
But that is totally incorrect.
It is far more about knowing that they have the power to choose differently and creating the life that they really want.
The realization is also only the starting point. Profound change occurs thereafter. And the change is a process not an experience. In other words it unfolds over time and is unlikely to manifest in immediate forward action. This is important to understand as it requires consciousness. patience and self-compassion.
I would say that getting a good coach could be really valuable in assisting this process. But it also might require taking action to heal past hurts and resentments. This requires different support and a psychologist could be more beneficial. A self-actualization training is also something to consider. The one course that I recommend is the More To Life Weekend. It is affordable and has the potential to deliver huge and sustainable breakthroughs. Look it up on Google – the next training is in August 2015.
So here is a poem written by Portia Nelson depicting the the responsibility epiphany and its process:
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
1. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost…….I am hopeless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out!
2. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe that I am the same place! But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
3. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in……it’s a habit. My eyes are open I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
4. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
5. I walk down another street.
Which level are you on?